Family Caregiver 5.25 - Flipbook - Page 21
TIME TO TALK
Difficult Conversations About Health Shouldn’t Wait;
Learn How Others Approached Their Loved Ones
Email: media@alz.org
Difficult conversations about health shouldn’t wait
Julie Burger hid her symptoms of dementia from her
husband for more than a year. But the once voracious
reader with a photographic memory knew it was
finally time to speak up when she could no longer read
a novel — she would forget what happened on the
previous pages.
Her husband of 59 years, Les Burger, a retired
physician, didn’t suspect anything was wrong until
Julie told him.
“I think Julie was in denial,” says Les. “I certainly
would’ve preferred for her to come forward when she
first started experiencing symptoms. But I think denial
can be a natural tendency.”
Together, they visited the doctor and Julie was
diagnosed first with mild cognitive impairment, and
then, in 2016, Alzheimer’s disease.
A challenging conversation
Talking about health concerns, especially memory loss,
can be difficult. In most cases, family members are the
first to notice memory issues or cognitive problems
in a loved one, but are hesitant to say something.
According to a recent Alzheimer’s Association survey,
nearly 75% of Americans say it would be challenging to
approach someone who was showing signs of memory
loss or other symptoms of dementia. However, nearly
90% say they would want others to tell them if they
were showing the signs themselves.
“It can be daunting to approach the subject with
someone,” says Ruth Drew,
Alzheimer’s Association director of Information
and Support Services. “But it’s important for
people to understand that having the conversation
and encouraging someone to see a doctor is an
act of love.”
Tom opened up to his husband, Levi Doyle, about
what he was experiencing at work. He describes
the conversation as “liberating” because it was “too
difficult to keep it all inside.” For Levi, who noticed
that Tom was increasingly confused at home, the
conversation confirmed the seriousness of the issue.
The couple sought a medical evaluation and Tom was
diagnosed with dementia with Lewy bodies.
Despite his own fears of what was to come, Levi knew
they needed to start making plans.
“I asked Tom where he would feel most supported,”
Levi says. “So we packed up our life in California and
moved to Illinois to be closer to his family, which has
been great for both of us.”
In addition to providing time to plan, an early diagnosis
can provide access to medical treatments to address
symptoms as well as education and support programs.
Finding courage and support
In June, the Alzheimer’s Association launched the
advertising campaign “Our Stories” with the nonprofit
Ad Council to encourage and empower people to
speak up when they notice something is different. The
ads feature Julie and Les Burger, Tom and Levi Doyle,
and other families describing the conversations they
had to address changes.
“People can connect with our stories and say, ‘Wow,
that’s me’ or ‘That’s Mom or my spouse,’ and that’s
incredibly helpful in encouraging them to take the
appropriate next steps, including seeing a doctor,”
Les says.
Helpful conversation starters
If you notice changes in yourself or another person,
here’s what to say:
•
“I’ve noticed you’re having trouble concentrating
and doing everyday things.
Can we talk to a doctor about it?”
Speaking up and taking action
•
Tom Doyle, who lives in Chicago, was a professor of
education when he began to notice changes in himself.
“It seems like you haven’t been yourself lately.
We should go see the doctor about it.”
•
“I’m not sure what it is, but I just don’t care
about important things the way I used to. I want
to talk to a doctor about it.”
•
“I’ve been getting lost lately and it’s pretty
unsettling. I think we should talk to a doctor.”
“I was a professor for 25 years and knew the classes
inside and out,” Tom says. “All of a sudden, I started
to have trouble remembering simple things that I had
taught for years and it was terrifying.”
Visit alz.org/ourstories for more conversation starters and resources.
2025 – 2026 Carroll County Bureau of Aging & Disabilities Resource Guide
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